Misguided Visual Translations (Thought for Food)

It's 4:49am and... Well, this blog post will express the rest...

I just appeared online for the first time in months, and gradually remembered why I feared to endure such unpleasant feeling. It took a lot of nerve. Never again. I was just... searching/seeking/grieving for... a certain nostalgic feeling to magically re-invent itself and re-create something I continue to long for. Or want back. And I'm shamefully addicted to her allure...

I sleep beside my "Adam's Apple" at night, to fill the empty void of the left hand side of the bed, and it's the only lap my head rests against. Although, I want to be in hers. More than a personal requirement. And I just continue to use this current lap as a vault to store all my thoughts, when my mind is not safe, and I wonder and wish if she'd caress mine, as she feens for the same kind of affection in return from someone, (the someone I can only hope to one day be, to press her body against my chest, so she can feel the sudden burst of wanderlust impulses that rush to my heart, whenever she is anywhere near...)

And I feel like I have to ask for permission to kiss you. But I just want the free ability to be allowed to give in to my urges. But I'm terrified of you, as if I'm still a virgin. And I am in a certain sense. I've never had sex, I only know how to make love... Well, when it comes to you. Because... wait, let's not pretend like you don't already know.

I have an unspoken blog post that's yet to be verbally written directly to the ears I plan to aim it towards, and she will hear it. And after that, what happens next is entirely up to her...

And she can pick and choose whoever she wants with the beauty she embodies.

But...

I Miss You.

I Really F ckin Do Tho.



"I can never get over you. I never got over you. I will never get over you. What kind of spell do you got me under? I have got to wonder. What kind of spell do you got me under? Or is it a spell that you got me under? This could be love..."


- Connor Maynard (inside joke)