Pick A Card. Any Card.

I have this uncertain memory of a particular sensual scene that seems unclear on it's meaning, but I can remember each individual vivid detail like a child's first taste of parental betrayal.

Perhaps something abnormally perfect I've saved from a dream?

But was this dream so surreal that I've mistaked it for a memory?

Or was the memory so sweet and unattainable, that one can only assume it's only achievable in dreams? There's no feeling like the feeling of feeling her current presence in the present, that undoubtedly present's itself beautifully.

But I'm struggling to remember this certain portion of my life that's set in a past tense.

And that exact past tensity is what I'm trying to obtain again.

Because... I miss her scent, and the atmospheric and dreamy essence she surrounded my skin in.

She led me to believe it was all inevitably mine.

What I had for her, and what she had of me, was real.

No one can deny that.

May not have been real to her, but... that's where we departed.

And this... vision/cinematic experience, that I can watch behind the scenes of my eyelids whenever my eyes dim, remains a mysterious debatable subject that I physically want to relive in reality.

Her approval awaits to repeat such sin...

I guess I could just ask her whether or not it happened.

Or if it's just a fantasy of mine.

But, how awkward would that be?

Now that we are no longer sexually connected.

Not to mention my fear of women playing a major role.

I act incredibly nervous around people I am obviously attracted to.

So I would rather just admire from afar...

- CH 

~a thief to some~

You have the power to lightbulb the stars people, the switch is at your finger tips. Blind the darkness with enlightenment. The sky's flicking her eyelids at you, again. You can't ignore her flirtatious eyes forever... She's in your reach. So reach out and grab her. She wants you to be on top for a change...

It's scary how accurate my zodiac sign defines me. I forget how much of a sensitive soul I am, and clearly so does everybody else.

I study the art of body language, in it's various forms of facial expression, self-mannerism and the purist natural responses given from the human anatomy, down to the simplest forged smile, and awkwardly forced laughter to escape the unprepared situation they find themselves in. So, if you catch me watching you, it's part of my forever-bending research. I'm trying to come to terms with the human behaviour I struggle to comprehend on a regular basis. If I can't mentally understand how the mind works, then that only leaves me to work with your body of work. And I'm not the only one, because I often have to pretend as if I'm not aware that others are studying my actions with every movement I make. Soo... yeah, just to let you know, I know. I just like to play dumb. It suits my innocent demeanour...


- from the laptop of...

"I really just want love, at least from one person."