Hello Kitty

I'm relying on Sonic to save and support me.. #Dependency
I need a distraction to keep me away from interacting with my addiction.
The sample in this track is reaching out to me and guiding me into a very positive mind state.. and helping me realise the realism of reality and my need to find inspiration to take action and complete control of my life.

Or maybe I'm only feeling sorry for myself because no one else is feeling sorry for me...

"Build up your confidence, so you can be on top for once. Wake up, who cares about.. little boys that talk too much."



"Feed me your love until I'm gone. I'm feeling hog-ish; greedy. I hope you still need me. I'm leaping to the chance of being in the sheets. Feeling frog-ish? No, I'm cold and ashamed, but yet I'm feeling August..."

I’m revisiting family, that I‘ve remained distant from over these past 2 years and just generally aiming to socialise a lot more to meet new people that I need to keep me accompanied.
Trying to find a new love… and I’m testing the waters to see who still does actually love me…

"I'm hungry, and my hunger for where you are is being fed... and I still starve for love..."

So many family members are going to be surprised to see me when I randomly turn up at their doorstep. I wonder if they will recognise me. They will surely recognise the new me. Well, they didn’t know the old me so they won’t see the difference in the new me. But I do know, they will love the new me...

My step mum (maybe more than) once told me (after reading 'In Case I actually Get Her..') I have very deep demons and it's not 'funny'. Apparantly there’s something wrong with me and no woman would come near me because of how 'deep' I am.. but then again she (and many others) have questioned my sexuality based on my certain choice of music, clothing style, sensitiveness, feminineness, poetic creativity and the lack of girlfriends I have had in the past. So her view on me fails miserably...
She was right about one thing.. girls do seem to run away from me.. or do I run away from them?
I've always tried to remain different by being me despite recieving constant concern, abuse and doubt all my life for not appearing 'normal', but then again what is 'normal'? Their are so many different forms of normality..
Still… I have swallowed my uncapability of fitting in with normal society and constant hurt from people’s immediate judgement and rejection towards my socially awkwardness behaviour for struggling to know who to be and how to be.. So I have been forced to remain me in an uncomfortable manner because of how ‘weird’ people believe I appear to be.
So for those who do love me for me, which is very few… will always remain important to me.
But it’s hard to find those kind of people…

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